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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome several hardships, and I respect her for that. But, she has been often caught off guard by people. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as an unexpected event. Several of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, as they were focused solely on her husband. It shocked her. She put in greater energy toward our bond, and must have understood more clearly the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Over the years, quite a few close to her have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was highly competent, and she left without knowing what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each retired and are seeing each other more, yet I realize the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce subjects and she changes them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. My effort is to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She is arranging a vacation abroad I've visited on several occasions even called home for some time. I attempted to share insights, however, my input unappreciated. She purely only wanted my agreement with her decisions. I recently come back from a month there she hopes to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she'll truly understand the effect of her actions on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation aiming for resolution demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend trying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially involves describing the usual pattern during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and basically an unbiased account. Next is to express her how it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument about this. What you feel are your feelings, of course. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling her:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's remarkably effective for promoting mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a story of their life they cannot abandon since their identity is tied to it being the only thing they've known. This is difficult because there's no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react defensively before reflecting on your words. And should you never reach a fix, it provides peace from having been truthful.